Messy Mademoiselle

There is a moment when everything stops. A pause in the chaos or perhaps the point between the end of something and the beginning of something else. A space where nothing is left and you’re hollowed out with nothing to go back to. A place that exists after a decision is made but before we’ve decided what to do next. It feels as brief as an exhale before the next inhale but sometimes feels as long as a miniature ice age.

It’s my favorite part. This transition between two realities. During this instant it’s as if everything is on the line and yet simultaneously nothing matters. It is an opportunity to grow, to change or to transform. For better or worse.

Do we choose to come back to our center and the ideas that inspired us before the world changed us? Do we choose to embody a brand new idea that we never thought possible? Is it a moment to reflect?

Don’t know which moment I’m referring to? Let’s look at a few of those moments to see if you recognize yourself in one of them…

When you quit your job. Whether it was formal and planned or you just dramatically walked out with no intent to return. You went to a coffee shop right after and sat there, sipping on tea until they told you it was time to close.

The long awaited move. You pack up your things, you pay your landlord your deposit. The anticipation leading up to that first day as a free, independent, grown woman.

The moment he confessed his feelings for you. They are overwhelmingly strong. It nearly brings you to tears. You look into his eyes and breathe for a few moments before you respond.

When you open your eyes first thing in the morning, half of your mind still in the dreamworld and the other half is being flooded with facts about reality. What thoughts will I meditate on while I lie here in the stillness of morning before the day calls me to move?

The moment you finish reading the last lines of a book and you slowly close the back cover. You allow those words to echo in your mind. You pay close attention to your emotional state. You tie like a ribbon the authors final thoughts to the story as a whole. You wonder how you have been changed by this unique experience. A feeling only able to be experienced for the first time, once.

When you sit down to create something. A writer looks at a blank page. A painter looks at an empty canvas. A photographer picks up their camera and brings it to their eye. What will appear before them, they have not decided yet. But very shortly after this moment of pause, a part of their inner world will come out and be made tangible.

The unknown awaits you. Don’t anticipate it and don’t dread it. Just be here in the now and don’t forget to breathe as you walk into whatever comes next.